Letting go

what do you see #36 .

Silence stalked us
It slithered in our wake
Ahiss with menace
Jane shifted uneasily as we set up the equipment
Her expression foreboding,
I could feel it too
A presence that skulked in the shadows
Gripping that room in a vice-like stillness
Our very breathing, an intrusion
But we’d come so far already
And this was the only way

We had everything
A book of death from the graveyard crypts
The camera spelled by a white witch
A precious memory, a gift to the power beyond the veil
Runes of necromancy etched into our right arms
And lastly here we were,
In a place of death
A gas leak had killed a party of students in this very room a year ago
Everything we needed to bring back mum
Dad was gone
We were alone
The grief unbearable

Jane was a mask of determination that strengthened my resolve
We took a breath and linked our hands
Reciting the spell from the book of death
This was it! finally we’d have mum back…

There was a long moment of dread before it all began
First, everything paled to black and white
A faint ringing pressed upon our ears
The rusty smell of ozone charged the air all round
The hair on my body stood on end
And goosebumps raptured allover my skin
My heartbeat was frantic, thumping wildly against my chest
Dread rolled through my body
But excitement held it at bay

Mum’s favorite image flashed upon the screen
her on her wedding day
A forlorn sliver of colour in that colourless room
The last step was to push the camera button
I nodded and Jane extended a trembling finger, pressing down..

Our biggest mistake!

Pale secrets of death!
Dreaded and craved all the same!
The Living Beware!


If you had a chance to bring back your greatest loss, would you?

Stay safe my friends, stay loving.

38 Comments Add yours

  1. Potpourri of deep emotions.. Loved your writing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. judeitakali says:

      Thank you so much, ‘potpourri’ is a word I’ve just learnt now. Cheers for that too

      Liked by 1 person

      1. But still you are overflowing with some really beautiful words..keep using them

        Liked by 1 person

      2. judeitakali says:

        Thank you Singh, it means a lot

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Chris Hall says:

    Great read, Jude. I enjoyed the way you ramped up the tension, feeling my own heart beating faster with anticipation… Nicely done πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. judeitakali says:

      Thank you so much Chris. I’m glad to have you reading and sharing your thoughts, very blessed

      Liked by 1 person

  3. memadtwo says:

    Shivers…
    No, I would not try to change the past. Even one small change could have, as your story illustrates, ramifications we could not control. (K)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. judeitakali says:

      Logic would say that but when the grief is so near, the choice could be a lot harder I think

      Like

  4. The tempo of your poetic verses building up the tension….literally gave me goosebumps Jude !!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. judeitakali says:

      YesπŸ’ͺ🏾 thank you Rhadika, o was definitely going for thatπŸ€—πŸ€—

      Like

  5. justcalmwildness says:

    I don’t know if I would. I am who I am because of the loss. Then the question is would I want to lose myself to get my greatest loss back? I love the way you built the tension. Great punchlines as always.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. judeitakali says:

      Thank you. Yeah, loss makes us who we are. A qn is, do we owe it to a lost one to try and bring them back if there seems to be a way?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. justcalmwildness says:

        Well this is deep too!!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Roshni says:

    I’m confused if I would want to bring back my greatest loss; but I would definitely read this poem again πŸ‘πŸ‘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. judeitakali says:

      Haha, thank you. Yes I guess it can be confusing, and other factors come in as well

      Like

  7. kittysverses says:

    Wow, this poem kept me on the edge of my seat, Jude. Well written. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. judeitakali says:

      Thank you Kitty🌼🌷 I’m pleased it did😁

      Liked by 1 person

      1. kittysverses says:

        You are welcome, Jude. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Sadje says:

    You’ve written a very evocative piece Jude. All emotions are so palpable.
    Thanks for joining in the challenge

    Liked by 1 person

    1. judeitakali says:

      Thank you Sadje, it’s always a Pleasure

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sadje says:

        You’re welcome πŸ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

  9. msjadeli says:

    You got the tension going and kept cranking the dial. Then the click of the camera carried us through the portal. Excellent wordsmithing, Jude!

    Would I bring back my biggest loss if I had a chance? I’m going to have to trust the cosmos on this one and say no. Whatever has happened has happened for a reason.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. judeitakali says:

      Thank you so much Jade for the appreciation.
      I guess the universe always has a reason.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. msjadeli says:

        You are welcome.

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Jules says:

    There were times when I thought I might want to… but then once you start changing one thing the string of moments twists and you might not get back to what you treasure in the present. So… I think I’d let sleeping souls lie… and hope that they might if they wanted to become reincarnated… or are living in the heavens of their dreams.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. judeitakali says:

      This is thoroughly explained. Thank you so much, it is a very satisfying answer Jules

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Jules says:

        Partly from watching Sci Fi shows and seeing how time lines can be mucked up. πŸ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

      2. judeitakali says:

        Yeah I’ve seen some shows like that too but I always wonder if their concept of time is completely wrong

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Jules says:

        I’ve watched some science shows too… how a black hole can bend light and time. Maybe one day we’ll know what’s on the other side – if we could survive the getting there.

        VSauce by Michael Stevens is a great show to watch for science facts interpreted for my simple mind. (I think you can see him on You-Tube.)

        Science says there is no such thing as ghosts or ESP etc… But clearly there are those who ‘see’ ghosts and use more unique areas of the brain… that maybe not everyone is in tune with.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. judeitakali says:

        Lemme write it down. For what it’s worth, I believe that genetics have a spiritual foundation element to them, amongst alot of scientific things

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Jules says:

        Just because a document says something was created in seven days… doesn’t mean that a human earth revolution of 24 hours is the reference to the day or days in question – which also could have been various lengths.

        The dinosaurs existed ~ not at the same time as any human form, despite cartoons or other movies. Could the first day have been several thousands of years? I’ve got some other examples or discussions we could have offline …

        Not all questions have answers, good or bad. However questions are one of the ways to continue learning scientifically or spiritually. πŸ™‚

        I liked the shows that Neil deGrasse Tyson hosted about the Cosmos as well. I believe Carl Sagan began with Cosmos: A Personal Journey, which deGrasse Tyson followed up with Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey.

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Era says:

    It’s beautifully written 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. judeitakali says:

      Thank you so much

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Era says:

        You’re welcome 😊

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Anisha says:

    This was chilling, Jude, tensions increasing with each line. Wonderful composition!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. judeitakali says:

      Thank you so much Anisha, I’m glad you liked it

      Liked by 1 person

  13. -Eugenia says:

    I wouldn’t bring back my greatest loss because I believe things happen for a reason. Absolutely a brilliant piece, Jude!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. judeitakali says:

      I guess that’s the right way to go about it. Thanks alot for reading Eugi. I’m glad you liked this

      Like

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