Mental awareness. The Scars of War #poetry and #prose

War!
The last place I want to be
The One place I belong

Sometimes I fear I am evil
That I sleep most soundly;
To the crackling spray of bullets in the distance,
Or the boom and bray of a bomb beyond enemy lines

Sometimes I feel I am cursed
Possessed by minions of the ancient gods of war and death
Aries and Hades
Kumara and Hellar
Guan Yu and Walümbe
Pulling a trigger I’ve come to hate
But also to love

Each night
I recall
My heart aches
And my soul whithers

Am I at fault;

That the silence of peace haunts me with nightmares

That the lonely hoot of an owl echoes the laments of those I’ve widowed and orphaned

That the nightingale’s song mimicks the tears and agony of loss

And that morning cicadas trill the despair of despondent fathers

Am I at fault,
That the soothing embrace of a spouse,
Opens the gates of my conscience
That it drowns me in remorse
That I see and feel more deeply
The blood!
The tears!
The death!

That the peace and love of home reminds me,
Of the homes I ripped away from others.

War!
My reprieve!
My doom!

Freedom is not free,
And soldiers pay the bitter price for us all.

© judeitakali


I hope you appreciate this.
I hope it brings awareness, patience and empathy for those who serve.

P.S I haven’t read much this week but I will be visiting very soon, to catch up with your sites.

Other posts you might enjoy from this week;

Stay safe everyone. Stay loving.

50 Comments Add yours

  1. Sadje says:

    The soldiers are really in a bad spot, morally speaking. No war is justified these days as no one is fighting the good fight.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. judeitakali says:

      I don’t know much but I do know that the moment those who atleast fight for humanity say it’s none of their business, then even more people will suffer, in unspeakable ways.
      And if the fight is not taken to oppressors, be sure they’ll have the freedom and time to plan and execute all sorts of atrocities.
      The moment good sleeps, evil will take over. Coz evil never sleeps.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sadje says:

        It’s all good in theory but in practice it’s not so black and white.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. judeitakali says:

        Yeah I agree, too many self interests and all, but in my view, if the people are better off with you there, then it’s worth it.
        Places like Myanmar and so called “rehabilitation centres” in that powerful nation are things that can happen in feigned peace.
        I like to listen to witness stories, coz those justify it all.

        Liked by 2 people

      3. Sadje says:

        You’re right that these situations are too complicated for a simple solution or answer.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. michnavs says:

    Ooohh dear Jude this brings tears to my eyes

    Liked by 2 people

    1. judeitakali says:

      Oh thank you Michelle. Soldiers are not angels by any means, depending on which side they can even be devils. but to those who go out to save people from oppressors, this goes out to those who are angels to the people they rescue.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. michnavs says:

        I agree Jude🥰🥰

        Liked by 2 people

      2. judeitakali says:

        🤗🧡🍁

        Liked by 1 person

  3. vaniheart says:

    Ohhh this one hits hard 💟💟
    But the hardest situation is always faced by the soldiers and their families

    Liked by 1 person

    1. judeitakali says:

      Very much so Vani🙏🏾🧡🍁

      Liked by 1 person

  4. In computers and brains, often times you have to set up partitions in order to function. When I respond to disaster situations a switch gets triggered in my brain. Assessments, calculations and observances are processed at lightening speeds. The ugly mess is the aftermath, those quiet moments like you said. The loops of doubt start running in playback mode; if I’d been faster or done it differently would he still be alive? Even if other people tell you, you were perfect and couldn’t have done it any other way, it’s only you that can grant yourself the grace to move on and stop analyzing it. If it wasn’t perfect then you have to humbly take it as a learning experience and hope to do better next time. Next time? The hardest part for me is dialing down my hypervigilance. Part of me is always poised like a cat waiting to pounce, waiting for the next big thing, waiting to switch from average Jane to big badass hero.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. judeitakali says:

      Yeah not everyone gets affected as deeply as what I wrote.
      I just wanted to bring awareness to those that do get affected.
      Thank you so much Melanie for sharing,
      What you do is admirable and amazing,
      If you can save a life, it’s worth all the effort from what you do.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Your poem is great! And I love the overall style of your site! I hope I haven’t come off sounding judgmental! My social etiquette is sometimes lacking. I’m sorry if I came off sounding critical of your poem or like a know-it-all.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. judeitakali says:

        Nah, it’s okay, I’m a very calm soul, willing to see different perspective.

        Like

  5. Hey Jude, I am speechless. We need more poems like this to unite humankind. All I know is our Government reflects us.
    To the one who fights for righteous peace and harmony 🥂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. judeitakali says:

      Thank you so much Sirishty. I must think more deeply about what you’ve said, “our governments reflect us”

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 😊 People tend to vote their own leader , eventually the kind of leader we choose reflects our thinking. That’s how I perceive though. Hence somehow, they are our reflection.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. judeitakali says:

        Yeah, except for the wolves in sheep skin

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Ruelha says:

    Such a moral, ethical and spiritual conundrum….
    Thanks for sharing Jude…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. judeitakali says:

      Yeah, I’m thinking of the times it wasn’t a choice. Where all of a certain age had to leave their homes.
      And also the military service still a requirement in some countries.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ruelha says:

        War is never good. Such a traumatic experience for all ends….civilians and soldiers on both sides…..☹☹☹☹

        Liked by 2 people

      2. judeitakali says:

        😔🤗🙏🏾🧡

        Liked by 1 person

  7. mariamichaela says:

    This is so sad but it is real. There are no winners in war.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. judeitakali says:

      Yes indeed🧡🍁

      Liked by 1 person

  8. -Eugenia says:

    A much needed piece, Jude! And true freedom is not free.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. judeitakali says:

      Yes indeed. Thank you Eugi🍁

      Liked by 1 person

      1. -Eugenia says:

        Most welcome!

        Liked by 2 people

  9. tanvibytes says:

    This poem was so sad, but the saddest part was probably how much truth was in it. 😦 This was beautifully written Jude, thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. judeitakali says:

      I’m glad you appreciate it Tanvi. Thank you so much 🧡🍁💕

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Jules says:

    My family history has had both men and women serve, in the past and present in the Navy and Army. I can not even imagine being in their shoes and the rationalizations that they must make to stay sane.

    From the beginning of time there has been conflict of who could and could not have something, some land, someone… There have been peoples with success of compromise but those lessons get lost in the crossfire of the desire by a few to control the majority.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. judeitakali says:

      Yes Jules, it almost feels like conflict is deep in our genes.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Jules says:

        😀 double helix DNA … right there – there’s where the trouble begins 🙂

        Kind of like computer programming. You don’t always get what you expect. And it isn’t easy to change the program that you’ve been running for years that you thought was working ;D

        Liked by 1 person

  11. So true… wonderfully expressed…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. judeitakali says:

      I’m glad you appreciate 🙏🏾🍁

      Like

    1. judeitakali says:

      Thank you so much 🙏🏾🍁

      Like

  12. PoojaG says:

    This was so touching. As a history major I read about war a lot and it’s really difficult sometimes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. judeitakali says:

      Glad you appreciate it Pooja. From what I’ve read as well, it’s usually difficult, especially the ones that last a while.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. PoojaG says:

        Yeah it’s extremely difficult because a lot of soldiers feel torn between patriotism and the horrors of war. It’s very sad.

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Your perspective in this piece is moving. Thank you for bringing attention to those who serve!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. judeitakali says:

      And thank you too for appreciating and noticing 🧡

      Liked by 1 person

  14. I am fascinated by war, Jude. I read The Red Badge of Courage by Stephen Crane (American Civil War) and All Quiet on the Western Front (First World War) fairly recently. Both are quite horrifying with their intense depictions of war and its effect on the soldiers. My new novel is partially set during the Second Anglo Boer War and features a fair amount of confllct and warfare.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. judeitakali says:

      The book sounds intriguing and for me, irresistible.. What’s the title?
      I’ll find a way of getting it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi Jude, my book is called A Ghost and His Gold. It has a paranormal element too. If you’d like to read it, let me know and I’ll email you a PDF copy.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. judeitakali says:

        Yes please, of course I’d like to read. It’s just that I feel guilty getting them for free😭

        Like

  15. NILE KALIK says:

    I really like this great read keep up the good writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. judeitakali says:

      Thank you so much 🍁

      Like

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